Tuesday, January 17, 2012

True Confessions

Have you ever had a task that you knew HAD to be done, but you also knew that you really DID NOT want to do it? Have you ever thought about said task with serious dread, for no logical reason? I have TWO of these on my list right now. It's an imaginary list really...it exists only in my brain. It's the part of my brain that contains memories of my most embarrassing moments, scarey movies I have seen, and other things that I'd rather forget about, but can't. The contents of this part of my brain follows me around like an annoying gnat or a mosquito. I try in vain to ignore it, to look the other way, so to speak. But I know that it's there. I know that the only way I am going to make the gnat go away is to face the darn thing, and do what it takes to get rid of it. It's funny, because these little annoying thoughts should not be that big of a deal. But I have succeeded in blowing them all out of proportion, and now I don't know if I am able to face them and conquer. 

Here they are:

1) I need to put away my Christmas decorations.
I know what you are thinking: "You haven't taken those down yet? I had mine down on the 26th! (Or even on New Year's Day.) How can you stand it?" I don't know why this task seems so unbearably daunting. It's not like I haven't done it a gazillion times before. But this time, for some reason, I just keep looking at those decorations and I feel totally overwhelmed by the thought of the process of the take down and pack up. 
2) I need to get a mammogram.
Yikes! I sooooo don't want to do this!! I know it's super important for women my age (over 50), but I have never done it, and I am so nervous. My daughter keeps reminding me. She started out with gentle reminders. Now she is becoming quite adamant. I don't blame her. She wants to know that she has nothing to worry about. So do I! But I keep avoiding it. Do I really have to? I mean...why do we have to let doctors mess with our female parts? It's really none of their business. Don't answer that question. I already know the answer. But I still don't want to!! 

OK. There you go. I'm sure there are other items on that list...but I have pushed them so far to the back that I don't remember them right now. All I can think about are these two. 

Maybe someone out there is a psychologist and can tell me why I am doing this. I would love to know! I seem to be able to tackle so many other tasks without a second thought... go figure. I hope that by confessing them I will now be able to overcome.

Well...Have a great rest of the week! And if you can relate to what I said, and you too are a procrastinator, take pictures of your house with your decorations still up and send them to me so I won't feel so bad! Maybe I will do a follow-up post: "Bloggers Who Don't Do Things They Should"!

Hugs to all,

21 comments:

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

As a 26 year breast cancer survivor, I definitely recommend not delaying your mammogram any longer. It's not that bad.

Alison Glass said...

Hi Lila - Here is my thought. The mammogram on it's own is no big deal. Not fun, but a lot easier and less painful than a lot of things. The fear of what it might discover is what's hard, what makes us (at least me) delay. In reality though, if there is something there any woman is far better off knowing about it early and being able to do something about it, rather than waiting until it's too late. Plus, likely you will find there is nothing wrong, and that will be such a weight off your back. This is just my simple opinion though, no pressure. Take care!

Sew Bee It Clothier said...

Lila, I am an 8 year Breast Cancer Survivor. Let me tell you, as I tell my daughters, a mammogram is nothing more than "rough sex". It is NOTHING compared to what I have been thru. You owe it to yourself and your family. Do it. A little secret, schedule it on the first day of your period. It is less uncomfortable on day 10 after the onset of that monthly annoyance.
I thank you.
Alison

Salinda said...

Hi! I'm only 35 and about passed out when my MD told me I need to have a mammogram. (I'm not old enough for that!!!) Thankfully, it was nothing, but I was terrified. I posted about the things I wish I'd known before my mammogram in my blog back in November. http://www.sasinsam.com/6-things-i-wish-id-known-or-im-glad-i-knew-before-my-mammogram-2/ . Maybe my thoughts will help you.

Sorry, can't help with the Christmas decorations! :)

Ana said...

Ok, so I don't need a mammogram (as far as I know) but if it's any consolation, our xmas decorations only came down today. Go get the mammogram - the decorations can wait.

LeslieUnfinished said...

Me too on both of those things. I have a huge box of Christmas deorations under my dining room table and just today I shoved it under a little more with my foot so I could sew.

…and Christmas lights have been on my outside bushes since Christmas 2009!

Anonymous said...

Please get a mammogram. It is not bad at all. You also need a baseline mammogram so they can compare to future ones.

Cindy said...

I'm with you about the Christmas decorations! Mine are down, but I dreaded putting them away. The mammogram thing is bigger in your head than it will end up being in reality. After you get it done, go do something that makes you feel pampered - like a pedicure. I'm already excited for how much better you will feel when you walk out of the breast center!

suziesewsalot said...

A mamogram saved my life and the life of my very dear friend. So please don't put off the dreaded squeeze. And those christmas decorations? I have been tempted many times to have my husband cut a hole in the ceiling to hoiste the tree into the atic completely decorated!

Teri Myers said...

Don't feel bad. I was overwhelmed by my Christmas Decorations also. I finally decided today that I was ready for Valentines Day! Hearts and more Hearts, so the Christmas went into the cubby underneath the stairs.It only took me all day..But it's all done. Yipee...Think Hearts

sewali said...

I too am a breast cancer survivor, and I am also well aware of the fear of what the mammogram will discover. The process itself is uncomfortable, but you've had babies, you've been through a lot worse!! Get your daughter to make the appointment and take you, that way it will just happen. And get the other kids to sort out the christmas decorations. You need to delegate :o).

Lila Tueller said...

Thanks everyone! I appreciate your help:)

Patty D :)) said...

Thankfully, I will be a 2 year breast cancer survivor in February. My cancer was detected by my annual mammo....it was caught early only because I had a mammogram. Not everyone is as fortunate ( sadly a high school friend was buried just this morning after a 7 year battle)....Lila, please go and get your mammogram, it truly can save your life! It saved mine!! xxoo

Anonymous said...

I told my husband that I would have a mammogram if he had his colonoscopy (baseline for both of us). I definitely had the lesser of two evils although the technician was a lady I went to high school with. Of all the places to reconnect. What may help is some sort of reward afterwards...ice cream or dinner or shopping or all three.

Lila Tueller said...

Awesome comments everyone! Thanks for the advice:) I knew I could count on you!

Peddlecar Quilts said...

Well, I'd say #2 on the list is the most important, and the Christmas stuff-whenever you get around to it. I have to feel inspired to do those kinds of projects! LOL! Nice to know i'm not the only one!

Gaye Brownie said...

If you haven't put your Christmas decorations away now is the time to do it. Maybe next year you should cut back with the decorating. Maybe a small tree.
More important is the mammogram. If you haven't done this yet I highly recommend it. A mammogram saved my life. I was detected with breast cancer 10 years ago an am a survivor. You do need a baseline to be able to compare. Don't delay mammogram today! February will mark my one year since it was told I was cancer free from peritoneal cancer. This was everything in my abdomen, blood, fluid, tissue, everything in there. Praise God I am cancer free again. By the way, My mom has had her Christmas tree up for about 5 years now. It's not in the main house, but we love to tease her about it. She is almost 83, and for sure has more energy than I do.

Chef Mama Lori said...

Lila, please tell us you've scheduled or even had your mammogram by now! I thought the computerized type was easier than the traditional one. I had 2 dear friends diagnosed with cancer in 2010. One was endometrial and caught too late. The other was breast cancer and ONLY because she had it diagnosed early is she alive today. That same year I had a mammo & got "THE NOTE" telling me they needed another image. Eventually a sonogram showed that I am just dense. LOL! Okay, I have dense fibrous matter, but I feel dense many days! I wanted to know ASAP if something bad was going on.

About the Christmas decorations, it's now the 31st and mine aren't put away. Those cleaning fairies never show up! LOL!

Tamara said...

Well, How did it go?

Karen said...

Don't feel bad about your decorations...here it is Feb 3rd, and just yesterday I looked at all the ornaments scattered around on all the horizontal surfaces in our great room and thought "I really should get those put away". It has only been a month since my husband took them off the tree. The tree would probably still be up if he hadn't done that! So on that, I can relate.
However, if your haven't done so yet, GO GET A MAMMOGRAM! About 15 years ago when I was only 31, I has a suspicious lump that had to be removed. Fortunately, it was benign. Getting a little squeeze (it really isn't that bad) is one of the best thing a woman can do for herself and the ones she loves.

Anonymous said...

You get the mammogram for those lovely little grand children that you post pictures of! You want them to know their grandmother, right? Just. Do. It.