Sunday, September 21, 2008

Revised "mad Post"

Oh, Hi! Good morning!
I just love waking up to a sparkling clean kitchen, don't you? It just starts my day off right. A fresh, clean slate to inspire my cooking creativity! (ha! that's funny. Cooking creativity.)


And I love how all my kids clean up after themselves, never leaving out a dirty dish. They are so well trained! Oh, there's more!

My sewing/laundry room? It has always been so well organized. I never leave it a mess.

(BEFORE):


OOPS!( How did this picture get in here?)
Yes, this is the same room, but a broader view, AFTER. Well, DURING, because it's not over yet.


O.K. so I decided to pull the last post I did, because, well it was a little FRANK. I decided it was too frank, and I didn't want to sound angry or bitter, which is how it sorta sounded. So, I deleted it. But then I got a couple of emails from a couple of people who actually read it in the 5 minutes it was up, and they agreed with me. Which made me think maybe I was a bit hasty in pulling it. So now I feel I should maybe rethink it, and maybe re-write it, and put it back up here, just to see what more people might think.

It's like this: I have noticed that after surfing "Blogworld" for awhile, and reading all those beautiful, glossy, perfectly put together blogs, I am sometimes feeling a bit depressed. I feel a little "lame" for lack of a better term. Like I'm just not as talented, amazing, brilliant, masterful, awesome, adored, pulled-together, or popular as all those other people in similar lines of work as me. I look at all the chaos in my world, and I tend to assume, from the facade that is presented, that no one else is like me. That everyone else out there is so much more able to "do it all" than I am.
But then I stop, and I think, Wait a second. This is BLOGWORLD. one can simply edit out all the not so perfect stuff, and present a lovely (somewhat phoney) picture to the world. No one knows you are posting in your underwear, with no makeup on, after three nights of little or no sleep. No one sees your kitchen, or your dirty laundry, your unmade bed. No one smells your breath, or knows that you haven't showered in days, or that your kids haven't eaten a home-cooked meal in a week. It's like editing a poor photo. You crop, you blur, you take out stray hairs and zits, you give yourself a tan, maybe whiten the teeth, whatever it takes to present the best possible version of yourself.

"Wow. You say that as if you know"...you say.
Yes, I do. And I also know that it's a big fat lie. I'm ready to show some of my reality , and it's not going to be pretty. There might be some photos that could truly scare you. You may not even like me anymore, if you ever did, when you see what I've got. ( I think it's actually going to be a lot of fun!:)

Anyone want to join me?...

Well...In fact, one of my "mad post" readers is going to host a contest where you can enter and expose some of your own reality to the "Blogworld", and possibly win a great prize! I'm going to make something to give away, as well as give away some of my patterns, and don't think I won't be entering myself, with some great photos of my own.

UPDATE: The reader mentioned above has decided not to host the "
reality" contest, in favor of a more pleasant topic: How blessed we all are! I love the idea, and I'm going to enter! You should too! I'll keep you posted.


62 comments:

Chelsea said...

It's all too true Lila! I'm glad you posted your feelings and that you're ready to blow the lid off of it all!!!

I have had some pretty scary moments recently that would make a small child cry. In fact it has. My children have been deprived of good dinners, a clean house, clean under wear and socks for days on end. And they have to deal with a cranky mommy lacking sleep.

I'm ready to tell the truth about my life and photograph it too.

Chelsea

Lila Tueller said...

SWEET, Chelsea... I knew I could count on you!

Camille said...

Oh, are you kidding? I shower and get dressed about twice a week, and I haven't cooked since before Market. My house is always clean, but only because I drive my kids and husband trying crazy to keep it that way. I'm pretty sure my readers know most of this, and that I never have time to sleep.... but I do agree. I always feel like there are so many people out there who do it so much BETTER that I am supposed to compete with. Hey, like you!

I like you. :-)

Mary said...

I'm not looking for perfection, online or IRL. I'm so far from perfect, I'm not even in the same alphabet. LOL!

Thanks for keeping it real, Lila!

Gudrun Erla said...

Oh, so true...I am glad I am not the only designer that doesn't get dressed for work, hair makes it into a pony tail on the good days, most of the time not! scary...because usually it looks like barbed wire. The only time I really get to dress up is for quilt market and then I always have to go shopping because I have no clothes to wear, my sweats wont work.
I wouldn't trade the job in for anything though, the thought of having to dress up everyday makes me very nervous.
You go girl!

wendy peatross said...

What a fun day to find your blog. I love knowing that I'm not alone in just trying to keep up. My sweet grand baby was here for the weekend and nothing mattered except playing with her. So today is catch up day, and cleaning day and finish a sewing project for my Mom's Birthday. In no particular order.

By the way, love your patterns and fabric. And congrats on being a grandma and having a son on a mission too. My grandbaby was born while my son was in Guadalajara. It sure made for a fun homecoming.

Lila Tueller said...

Thanks,ladies, for your support of my deleted/rewritten "mad post"! Sounds like there's a few of us out there....!

Laura said...

I am one of the few people who had the pleasure of reading your first post - I loved it because someone finally said the truth.
I have a blogging friend who gives the idea that her life is perfect, with the incredibly smart, creative, loving kids, caring, always attentive husband and a home that is never out of harmony. I know she isn’t being honest with herself or her readers. She doesn’t give credit where credit is due (some pictures on her blog aren’t taken by her, but she leads you to believe that they are and when she receives help she doesn’t mention it.) Pathetic! It used to make me mad, but now I just gloss over the blog as a means to stay current without much attention to all of the ridiculous fluff. Thanks for letting me get that out. :)

jt said...

How did you get pictures of MY rooms? Especially on Monday mornings, it looks like that around here. gives us something to do, right? we are all in it together. thanks for keeping it real.

Vivian Love said...

Lila, I love this post! I agree with you about the blog-o-sphere! People can sure paint a good picture with edit, deleting, photoshopping, etc. I really is a facade. This morning I was just noticing how dirty my kitchen floor was, then I realized it was because I had my glasses on! So I took the glasses off and I can't see the dirt. Much better! :)

Vivian Love

bakeandsew said...

Love it love it love it. I was scared to start blogging as everyone was so darn perfect. I will not be ashamed anymore. Thanks. Long live imperfection its what makes us human and real.

Anonymous said...

ditto.
ditto.
ditto.

I have a friend whose blog makes it seem like she lives in a fairy dream world. We all know what reality is because we all live it day to day.

Bravo to you for helping us all remember that we are just human and doing the best that we can!!

poshfairies said...

Hi Lila
Im fairly new to blog world ( as you know) and yeh I was amazed how Purrrfect some of these ladies seemed to me. Such as..child "please mummy"... "oh yes little sweet thing can you just wait till mummy finishes this sewing project just so that I can show it off on my blog... blah blah blah...
" ok mum oh and I love you "
Yeh right!!
Most mornings I go to work and leave a note on the kitchen bench for my 3, the 17yr old needs to take out the rubbish, the 15yr old needs to clean up the kitchen bench after breakfast, and the 11 yr old needs to feed the one cat and one dog..is that to much to ask.
So home I come the bins are still full, the breakfast dishes turned into a banquet for 10 and the 2 just 2 animals are just about eating each other.
Now let me tell you NO sweet thing will be coming out of my mouth while the computer is pulled out of the socket and the mobile phones are handed back to me.
NOT so Purrrfect after all!!
Its nice to someone being honest thanks Lila.
Pina

mamabug said...

Thanks for your honesty. Life isn't perfect and if we continue to live in that world what are we telling our children!!! We do the best we can and some days it isn't a clean sink or floor. If there is a great meal on the table for dinner I guarantee the dishes are stacked and won't be taken care of until tomorrow or the next day. Oh Well. My life is good and my husband agrees :) Yeah for the real world!!! Kathie

creativedawn said...

Hey Lila!
Are you talking about ME... that's right, I am right there with you...although the only people that think I am near to perfect are my growing children....as they are now teens, they can see that I am not all that "well put" together! Hate to disappoint, but this is LIFE! I've been trying to fix, sort, and clean up my bedroom...not going to happen as we have no storage space whatsoever ...yikes, yuk... I am HUMAN...sob...By the way, I like what I know of you and if I was in your city, I would meet you in person... ;-)) Go ahead and keep it real on your blog if you want to!
real big hugz
Pam

Some Art Fabric said...

I loved post about the perfect and the beautiful! It made me smile at the piles are mess all over my house and why I feel compelled to clean when mom comes over. Thank!

The Drizzled Apple said...

ahahah, merrily, merrily, merrily merrily, blog life is but a ....facade! hahahah. I too am the "cranky" mommy at present, due to 3 AM bedtimes, and my sink... well, it looks a lot like yours! hummmm, we must be related?
-Love ya,
(your instincts were dead on....and right on time it seems!)

belinda said...

I can't believe you posted on this....this very discussion has been on my mind alot. I am AMAZED at some blogs...I have no children at home and a hubby who pretty much lets me live in my sewing room if I want AND I could NOT possible get all the projects done and completed like so many blogs I see and keep my house and life in order as they seem to. My dear hubby and I have discussed this more than once. I'm PATHETIC...for I find myself pushing and pushing myself trying to be as productive as others seem to be...and like you...I come away from surfing blogs feeling depressed and inadequate. I swear there aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things that some people profess to do...I've tried to do it and keep up and I don't have a job or kids to interfere....I've even stayed up till 3 am...GUESS WHAT?? IT CAN'T BE DONE!!! So I've often wondered where their help comes from...friends who don't get credit...moms or mothers-in-law??? I'm sorry this is so lengthy...but you struck a nerve with me today. Just yesterday I told myself OUTLOUD....STOP IT!! Forget the fakers and comparing myself and just be ME!
It seems that as I struggle to become a Liberated Quilter I too have liberated myself from housework!!
Your work is beautiful and so are you so BE REAL...I LOVE IT!!


p.s. Oh, and 3 floral moo-moos are my choice of house wear and "crock pots R us"!

Jodi said...

Wow - what a great post! It's so true that most blogs only present the edited version of the blogger (kinda like a job resume) even the jobs that sucked and you hated until the bitter end always manage to take on a glossier and more impression version of themselves when presented in a resume or cover letter. Maybe that's what a lot of us bloggers have been trying to do - present a "portfolio" or resume of the artist we want the world to see us as, instead of who we really are....Thanks for being so honest and real - I'm sure everyone can relate on some level!

Janis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janis said...

Well said and oh-so-true. I know I can't do it all - HA HA HA, I can hear everyone I'm related to laughing at that one. A very wise man once told me "Everyone has the same amount of time, 24 hrs each day -- what you do with those hours is a reflection of your priorities." I have good days and I have days I don't get a darn thing done and I have no excuse. And please don't check behind my door for dust bunnies, sometimes you will find them. Okay, make that OFTEN. Hey, they aren't my biggest priority. Anyway, I think we surely all have our moments of glory, our days of ho-hum and our occasional melt-downs. I've seen enough of your blog to be blinded by your glories. God Bless.

shequilts said...

Oh, thank goodness you posted this. I am SUCH a failure as a Martha. Even so, I am sick of feeling inadequate when I look at everyone elses sharp and shiny lives.

terificreations said...

Just found your blog a couple of weeks ago and this post really speaks to my heart and mind. My sewing space looks like your second picture, probably worse. I have an "Eleanor Burns" like habit (no matter where the snippets bag or trash can is) of things ending up of the floor...I'm really crowded right now as there are several projects going on at once that all need to be accomplished in a relatively short amount of time along with more long term projects that are in desperate need of attention.

And then there's the regular life. Cooking, cleaning that's being set aside to accomplish those tasks. I'll share photos on my blog with you...

Teri

Pink Lemonade Bags said...

Thanks for being so real for us! I have been taking pictures of when disasters/messes hit my house and try to remember to post them when I can to let everyone see the mess of a life we live too. I am going to do a post on this just for you Lila!

Hugs,

Caroline

quilterpolly said...

great photos...We are only human...don't be so hard on yourself!!! I love what you do...keep up the great job:)
Polly

belinda said...

HEY GIRL........I just did a post of my kitchen the way it looked this morning....these are the same dishes from yesterday.....and as I type.....the same dishes ARE still there...and they might still be there tomorrow...SO THERE YOU ARE!!

Kim said...

I love it, I love it. I think you have discovered a voice for the masses.
Thanks for the giggle, and the reality check. x x x

Lori Gardner said...

Lila, I can't imagine what you are talking about? Everyone I know lives perfectly perfect lives. Especially me! Just one request though, please never visit me at home...you might not find me under all these piles of perfection!
PS...Don't you love designing for MODA!

Fran said...

Dear Lila, as one person said 'Thanks for the reality check'. Belinda sent me to this post and I love it!
When I hear about trying to raise kids and keep a spotless house and be creative I smile to myself. I had 5 kids. IT CAN"T BE DONE! You can tell what kind of person I am just by reading my e-mail address. (*LOL*)
Today times are different for me , my DH and I are retired. But and this is a big BUT, I still can't keep on top of it. The house is "tidy", but clean????....No!
It gets a good going over in the Spring and the week before Christmas. In between...well it all depends on what's happening. I sew,and I do "my things",period!

He golfs,and does the things he enjoys. That is what life is all about.
I do feel a bit 'slow' compared to what I perceived other blogers to be.
I actualy thought there must be something wrong with me,because it didn't matter how fast I tried to go, I just kept falling behind.
I wondered if they had more hours on their clocks than I had on mine. Mine only has 24.
Reading this blog has made my day,
Thank You Lila, I will be back.

~~Fran...:c)

Nanette Merrill and daughters said...

This is funny, coming from you because I look at you and think - wow, she's so beautiful. My reality. Hey I have 8 children. My sewing room is about the only thing I can really control. Most of the time. If you want to see out of control I'll show you my bedroom. No I won't. You are braver than me.

the Material Girls Quilts said...

Lila,
I so can relate to this, I pretty much define the word "trainwreck" (next time your in the shop take a look in my office)and to think my sewing room looks even worse I could send Dr. Phil in to heart failure. I could go on but I'll spare you- just know this I think you are incredible and have and can't wait to see what you will do next.
Cook?? isn't that what drive-thru's are for!!!
Nadine

Julie said...

Oh,this really made me laugh. I actually pulled up your blog one day to show a friend - "Look at this woman - she's perfect. She looks gorgeous, her kids look so happy and aren't fighting, and she designs bags and fabric. I have to love and hate her at the same time". It's so wonderful to hear that you are just as real as the rest of us. I consider it a personal victory if my kids leave the house clean with their hair brushed. Forget the laundry room. Good for you..(not that I'll be publishing photos any time soon - my mother reads my blog...lol).

Lula Bee Boutique said...

You are so RIGHT ON with this one girl! Man I wish I had seen the first post cause I think this one is pretty flipping awesome! If you serioulsy want to get freaked out, just come on over and check out my bathrooms and my kitchen floor, oh and then take at look at me- I probably haven't had a shower since yesterday and that's on a good day. I had a crying fit tonight becuase we had to go to my daughter's preK parents night and I came to realise that all I own are Mommy around the house clothes- but on the upside at least I took a shower this afternoon. Oh and I have gotten calls from both my kids' teachers this week about "issues" they are having at school- I'm not winning an "Greatest Mommy Awards" apparently. Hmmmm..... sounds like a blog post...but seriously I don't think you really want to see my kitchen floor...

manoucarre said...

Hello, My name is Emmanuelle and I am french.
I am a cross stitch designer and discovered your blog by looking up the fabrics on the moda website.
If I may ask you about the business of creating designs for fabrics, this would be my question: do you have a contact company that does your fabrics or is it moda that orders the designs from you and then has it made?
If you wish to have a look at my website to see what I do: www.alice-and-co.com .
Thank you for your time.
Emmanuelle
PS: you have a beautifull family.

APA said...

Hi! I've been following for a while after finding you through Hancock's of Paducah. I love your patterns, have bought all three, and your new fabric. Can't wait to get my hands on some.

But, what I really like is just you chatting about your life as a person, no labels, just a person. Maybe that's why I like your patterns & fabric. I know there's a human being breathing and living as I am.

OK, and "Bohemian" and "Funked Out" sucked me in!

I'm responding today, finally, because I'm so grateful you "vented." It happens to all of us, doesn't it? We get on here, put up a little space, feeling like we finally can share and belong with creatives when all of a sudden we feel as alienated and less than as in the "real" world, you know, those dog-eat-dog environments where you go to earn a living that squeeze the breath out of you when you're not looking. It's the writer who can't write because the voice inside says you're not as good (I've heard that voice!). "The heck with it," as you so eloquently put it. I'm going to do my thing. The peace & contentment I'll know will come just from sitting here, fully alive to what I'm doing, sharing, anytime, even at 5 AM when my dog has woken me and I can't fall asleep so I jump online to experience fun people, on my space or theirs, and I turn on the sewing machine to start that next project, all in my threadbare but comfy pj bottoms and ratty t-shirt, barefoot as I usually am, 24/7. Either way, we're all human and claim our space here, equally.

Why be created uniquely to simply become carbon copies of each other?

Keep doing your thing. The world is a nicer place because of it!

Des said...

Big fat lie??? You're going to blow the lid off of this?? Are you people kidding me?? I have lots of questions this morning. :) It smacks of jealousy to me. Why do we as women feel the need to compare ourselves to others? I'd be a complete idiot to think that "Jane Doe's" life is idyllic. Why can't she have it all together? Just because I don't doesn't mean that I'm less of a person. It also doesn't mean that she's a fake. And if she is by your definition, who cares??? But hey, if I can get 35 other woman to believe the same things I do I will sure feel better about myself. It's called 'leveling'. If I don't look as good to everyone else as "jane" does then I'm not as good a person. So I will knock her down a few rungs and then she'll be even with me again.

I bet she works just as hard as you do. Anyone who works and has a family and runs a household knows that it is the hardest work in the world. So what if she wants to show us the beautiful side? I'm not an idiot. I know how much time, effort, lack of sleep it takes to make that all happen. I choose to live differently.

If I want to see reality, I'll look at my own kitchen sink. I like seeing the beauty in 'her' surroundings. I like to imagine that it's possible to live that way. But I certainly don't beat myself up because it's not my reality. And I certainly shouldn't be calling "Jane" out for being a fake. I'll take crisply folded fabric that's color coded with a cat that never sheds sitting atop. I'll take dirty dishes and kids with chocolate all over their face as well.

I think this is a great post and tells us a lot about blogworld. I appreciate the discussion. Thanks.

nicole said...

Thank you Lila!!! It's so nice to know that there are real people in Blogworld. YIPPEE! I wish more bloggers would be a tad more honest about there life.

Diana Hulme said...

37 comments? geez, lila - think you struck a common pet peeve. :) haha! for the record, i think you look great even while running on no sleep and managing 4,567 things. love you!

Simply This and That said...

We ALL KNOW that everyone has dirty dishes in their sink.
That life isn't perfect, and that not everything is as rosey as we see on our blogs.

Perhaps I would be accused of seeing things thru rose colored glasses. I don't care. Blogging has been a refuge to me from the outside world.
I have had some troubling times this year. And I thank the stars and heavens above that I’ve had my blog and been a part of such a wonderful community.

I love being inspired by fellow bloggers. I love being inspired by what quilters are quilting, what home decorators are creating, and what bakers are baking. When I think of surfing other blogs, I think of picking up my favorite magazines. Walking away inspired, refreshed and ready to go.

I'm not inspired by a picture of someone's dirty kitchen. I’m not inspired by someone waging war against others because the others life appears to be perfect.
And I'm surely not inspired by a rally of other bloggers that believe an ANGRY post is Awesome.

I don’t think beating down others to boost ourselves up in times when we feel inadequate is the answer. We really don’t know how the other person’s life plays out.

Is it a bad thing that they don’t share the downs with us? We see the downs on the news everyday, on the front page of the paper, and driving down the street. It surrounds us daily at every turn.

Is it not O.K. that we have a place to come to, where we can put the troubles behind us and be bolstered up and encouraged?

We should not be comparing ourselves to others. We are each individuals with different needs, wants, talents, gifts, weaknesses, and strengths. Let’s help each other in the positive. Not with the negative.

Lila, if I were to compare myself to you today. I’d be in bed for a month! I have a dream to design my own fabric line, I don’t know that it will ever come true. I have had other dreams too. Some too personal to share here, and I know they have come true for you. I cannot imagine posting that you are a phoney and a fake and blow the lid off of you, because I haven’t accomplished the same things you have, or that my world seems less perfect than yours.

I love your fabric, patterns and the glimpse you have given us into your world. You have a beautiful family and have accomplished things most of us only dream about.
Let’s all count our blessings and continue to inspire others, not produce a community of negativity.

craftyclaire said...

I think your photos are a good representation of what most of our homes look like. I have often wondered how people are able to get up, clean their home, take children to school, make breakfast, lunch, dinner, sew some clothes for their offspring, go shopping, knit a jumper, write to friends, organise the school fete etc all within 24 hours!!! I can't! and I'm glad to see most other people can't do that either!!! Good for you for saying what you did!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lila.... thanks for doing for "Blogworld" what Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty is doing for the advertising world. I quit reading fashion magazines years ago because I always came away feeling like a chameleon in a crayon box!

I know that there were times when I decided to check up with you via your blog and came away wondering how and when your life had morphed into perfection. You know, just like mine had in other people's view. Ha!

As ever, you're one of the best people I know. Thanks.

Love, George

Anonymous said...

I just love you Lila!
(Fina)

Lila Tueller said...

Hi, this is me. Well I see that there are some folks who clearly don't agree with my post. That's o.k. and if i deleted those, I would be doing the opposite of what I'm trying to do. So they are there, and I actually agree with some of the points. I am not attacking anyone, let's just make that clear. I am not attacking any particular blog. I am not going to expose anyone as a fake but myself, which is what I'm talking about here. I just want to portray the real me, I just want you to know I'm human. That's it. Now I may not tell you ALL my faults, I mean who wants to hear THAT laundry list. But I guess I just want to be a little more of the person that I am, and not try to make anyone feel alienated by me. Is that so wrong?? I'm not trying to bring anyone else down...so don't feel attacked by me! I love to look at pretty blogs too! I just don't like the self- indulgence that I sometimes see. That's MY problem, not theirs. I see that. I know I'm insecure at times. I try not to compare myself. Most of the time I succeed. Sometimes I fail. I'm human. Did I already say that?

I love you guys, all of you!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am wondering if we could have been sisters seperated at birth! I was sitting at my key-bored (spelling mine,lol) looking at still more interesting patterns and decided to search the rabbit trail that led to your blog:-) I have never blogged before, but I just wanted to applaude you for your courage and honesty! I was sitting here with my little dog in my lap wondering if it was her or me that needed to go to the groomers first, lol. With your encouragement, I am just going to smile and act like I meant for my house to look this way when people drop by unexpectedly. Life is too short not to sew!!! I think you are beautiful inside and out, clean laundry or not :-) Take Care and Be Blessed--- Julia

Fran said...

Well Belinda posted a picture of her dirty dishes and labeled the post "I'm Liberated" good for her.

Lila I have a DH who does all the dishes so I can't complain on that quarter. BUT....I'm a junk collector and it keeps piling up! I try very hard to keep it organized and put it all in nice totes and boxes....then I put the boxes in the hall,... the dining room,... the living room you get the picture? AND they seem to grow and multiply .....I keep trying to find storage for the storage(*LOL*). does that count? If I post a picture of, say my messy dinning room, will I also be 'Liberated?"
Will wait ti hear from you:c)

~~~Fran

Peddlecar Quilts said...

Ok, so I thought it was just me. I finally posted on my blog after 3 weeks. No kids at home but a puppy, a dog and a husband who is very understanding thank goodness, or I would never get my jobs finished in time. I cringe if someone wants to pop in unexpected!!! I'm new at this, this is my first year, and my Market jobs just doubled this time. Under the gun is a slight understatement and my house looks like a tornado hit it and my husband calls on his way home from work to ask if he can pick me up something to eat!!! At least I know now this is ummm....normal? for this time of year anyway!!!!! Thankyou from the bottom of my heart!!!

Abbie Simpelo-Dyer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Material Girl said...

Hey Lila, I am relatively new to the blog world but I have noticed all of the perfection too. Some of it really is inspiring and some is intimidating, but I appreciate all of it including your honesty. I have never taken pictures of my mess but I have mentioned it in my blog. I have a picture of my tiny sewing room and the camera was facing the tidy part. If I had turned around with the camera...well, you would know that my sewing room is WORSE than yours. No kidding. It makes me happy to know that you and others share in the mess. And by the way, I love your patterns! Debbie

Country Log Cabin Quilter said...

I understand how many of you are feeling, however, I love looking at the "perfect" rooms because it gives me ideas for what I might be able to do some day. I don't really need messy pictures...I see that enough at home. I think a benefit of old age is not being as concerned about these things. I used to have a very hard time because I did compare myself with others. Now, I am happy with what I'm doing and it doesn't really matter to me if other people are more together. I just hope that someday (when I retire) I will be able to do a little better. There is only 24 hours in the day and we are not wonder women! So, I hope you are not too hard on yourselves or others. I think you are all amazing, especially those of you with children at home and are doing so much in or outside the home as well!

Millieblue said...

Hi Lila.
Have just arrived at your blog after looking for your great peasant blouse pattern. I'm reading this while my baby is crying because I'm not "looking" at her constantly, I have piles of laundry to do, and I can't see my carpet!!! Having said all that, I'm not a terrible mother because my house isn't sparkling,and no we don't go to the beach every evening for perfect barbeques, and no I don't rise with the birds to make bread! I just wish I'd found your blog early to read what you had written. I'm sure I would have agreed with every word! I've been thinking about writing my own blog for a long time but thought no-one would be interested in my life that seems so normal and boring compared to some of "more exciting" and "interesting" lives portrayed on other blogs. Can we all try to be a bit more honest and realistic, and finally see that we should all be very proud of ourselves, no matter how untidy and messy things get around us! Life is too short for showing off!!! xxx

Eunice said...

Lila, Thank you for being human. I had to quit reading a blog because I found myself getting depressed. I was wondering why I couldn't get everything done that I wanted to(like sewing,coming up with my own designs, and making lots of money on ebay) and still take care of my family. I finally had to delete her. Thank you for being honest.
Eunice
I really like your fabric and purse patterns:)

Chelsea said...

This is a tad bit sensitive Lila!

I totally agree with you about the facade in blog land and I fully admit that I am on of the fakers.

For example, I'll take a picture of a new design on a mannequin, set it in just the right light, at just right the angle to get just the right shot. Little does everyone know the room around it looks like a tornado just touched down!

I don't feel bad about doing that because the focus is suppose to be on the design, not the floor or room around it. But for someone who is stopping by to read the post may see it and wonder how I do it all and keep everything so clean at the same time.lol! I have recently had people ask me that very question. I tell them straight up, "I'm not doing it all! My blog looks nice and the sewing is getting done, but I lack in tons of other areas. My kids usually eat dinner at 9:00, I don't go to bed until 4am most of the time, there is a 6 foot pile of laundry on my bedroom floor right now, and my house smells weird for some unkown reason! Is there a poopey diaper somewhere???"

The pretty blogs are great. They are inspiring, give you ideas, get you motivated and all that good stuff, but seriously don't you think that being real every now and then can be good too? Of course nobody wants to visit a blog where all the pictures and posts show dirty dishes and piles of laundry. Of course you're not inspired by that, but to see it every now and then on the perfect blogs helps everyone else realize that their life isn't that much different from the person or people the admire so much.

I know that you are just keeping it real and I love that about you. You are real. You're amazing at so many things, but I know you're not perfect and that you struggle just like me, but you keep going and you keep me going. That is more inspiring to me than anything else.

I love you Lila!

Chelsea

Bizarre Quilter said...

Yeah, it's amazing how we think outloud when writing our blogs. (I am in my pjs.) i've been up for 2 1/2 hours, but I have been doing jobs! Time for a shower!!

Loz in Oz

princess*picasso said...

Lila,

This is great! I don't see this as a bunch of people rallying to bash other blogs. Of course we all love looking at beautiful blogs--that's why we're here on yours :) It's a refreshing reminder to not just look at all those beautiful images and hold ourselves to that standard, when yes, those are just the surface.

I love the comparison with the Dove campaign that someone mentioned earlier. Of course we all *know* that this world isn't made up of 5'10" gorgeous supermodels with voluptuous hair...but it gets a bit depressing when you realize you've been subconsciously comparing yourself to them (and feeling inadequate) after reading your favorite magazines. And yes, I can see myself doing the same with blogs, wondering, "How do they have the time to do it all and what the heck am I doing wrong?" I realize I'm being dumb, but I feel lame that I can't do it all (ie.- 3 full-course healthy meals each day/keep dishes and laundry done/kids in bed at exactly 8:30 p.m./have activities planned for the kids at specific times each day/and on and on) So my first thought after reading this and all the response was, HOW REFRESHING!!!

Priddy Creations said...

I think "keeping it real" is not "done" enough. Sometimes I seriously question my time management skills and worry that I am doing something wrong. I really enjoyed reading your post and am glad to see that not everyone is so put together ALL of the time. Makes a girl (ME!) feel normal!

Love your fabric! Have some headed my way soon. Can't wait to create with it!

Amy

Lori said...

Hi Lila... I just found your blog today, and this post is fantastic! I don't always have the bed made or the floor vacuumed perfectly or the dusting done. Then I think, I must be the only one living in a dusty house with a bed I haven't made because others seem so put together compared to me.

Then... I read a post like this and realize not only am I not alone, but I have good company!

I will be saving your blog to my favorites.

freshandvintage said...

Lila,
You are an amazing, inspirational woman. Keeping things real never hurts any of us. When I used to do launches on e-bay, I always wanted my co-designers to show a picture of their sewing room or kitchen sink taken just after the photo shoot for the launch. Neither spaces in my house were ever anywhere near as "pretty" or put-together as my designs for the launch were. Thanks for being you and best of luck at Market. I so wish I could be there this time--maybe in the Spring. Hugs, Eva

Karen said...

Lila,
I found your blog from Christie Lewis'. I love, love, love your post. My husband is the bishop in my ward and I recently told the ladies in Relief Society to stop cleaning their houses when the bishop comes to visit. He now has the impression that everyone in the ward has a perfectly clean house but us! I'm not saying we should be slovenly all the time but be real. If someone ever says they think I've got it all together (actually no one has said that for some time) I just show them my laundry room. My husband refers to it as the armpit of our house... thanks for keeping it real!

SweetDreamsDesigns said...

Oh my GOODNESS - I feel exactly the same way! I have also read so many blogs of other women who also feel that at times they don't "measure up" to the bloggers that only show the pretty side of life and business. It ain't pretty, though is it! ha. I felt like you were describing me to a TEE. I work in my pjs all day and scramble to shower before my husband gets home from work - haha...he knows my secret though, I'm sure. You have inspired me - I'm off to write a post of my own.

Anna

P.S. I'm so in love with your patterns and fabric! Great job and keep it up!

Xiola said...

What a wonderful post, I only wish I'd caught the original version. I've lately felt like a big 'try-hard' after looking at some of the perfection getting around! It does leave you (well, me anyways) feeling inadequate and a little depressed about everything I do in my little world.

It's nice to read not only your post, but all the comments for a very welcome reality check!!

Lori said...

Wow, thanks I needed that. I'm not a blogger yet, soon though, and as I read these blogs I feel that at times I don't stand a chance. After one full week of being "laid" off from my job I have really been on a pitty trip, no more. . . I am blessed in too many ways so I'm going to get creative!

Dansie Family said...

oh man. 61 comment. i don't know if you'll ever even read this. i've been blog surfing this afternoon and loved this post! i frequently get annoyed at the "blogworld" and everyone's perfect lives. i say things the way they are, hardly ever post a cute picture of myself and really feel so much competition in this whole thing. so i appreciated your post... i'm not crafty, quilty (although i'm kind of jealous of people that are crafty and quilty), have no special talents, or etsy shops, etc. my blog is full of stories about who i really am, what kind of mom i really am (a loud, impatient, yelling mom), and feel like no one else has a life like mine. so thanks for this. i'm subscribing!